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What if We’re Asking the Wrong Question?

Have you ever jokingly, but mostly seriously, said, “I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up?” 

It’s a question we ask children all the time. It’s a question we were asked dozens (if not hundreds of times when we were growing up). Is it any wonder that we feel like we need to BE something?

If you feel like you still don’t know what you want to be when you grow up, you aren’t alone. There are sooooo many things we can be. How are we supposed to choose? 

But…

What if it’s the wrong question?

What if we asked, “What problem do you want to solve when you grow up?” instead?

How would you answer that question? I bet one or two things popped immediately into your mind. Those ideas, those problems you want to solve, are the reason you are here on this planet at this point in time. 

If you had asked me when I was 10 years old what problem I wanted to solve, I would have answered, “I want to solve the loneliness problem. I think everyone should feel like they belong.” 

Why did I want to solve that problem? Because I was lonely. I didn’t feel like I belonged. 

Solving that problem is the reason I have always intentionally befriended people who appear awkward and alone. Everyone should feel like they belong.

If you had asked me when I was 14 years old what problem I wanted to solve, I would have answered, “I want to solve the body image problem. No one should worry about whether their butt looks too big in a pair of pants.”

Why did I want to solve that problem? Because I was insecure about how others would judge me in clothes that made me feel great.

Solving that problem is the reason I have always answered any question about how someone looks with, “How do you feel?” wearing those clothes, that hat, your new hairstyle. 

Instead, when I was 10 years old and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I answered, “A teacher.”

Why a teacher? Because Mrs. Dickerson was my teacher. She assigned me key roles in class plays. When I was in a play, I didn’t feel lonely. I felt like I belonged. A teacher solved my problem, so I wanted to be a teacher. 

When I was 14 years old and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I answered, “A lawyer.”

Why a lawyer? Because my father told me I was argumentative and could convince anyone of anything. To me, that meant I could change the way people looked at each other. I could convince people to view each other with kindness, compassion, and understanding. Perry Mason, a fictional TV lawyer, treated people that way, so I wanted to be a lawyer. 

When I grew up I did not become a school teacher. I did not become a lawyer. 

Instead, I became a military member, a factory worker, a secretary, and a production supervisor. In each of these jobs, I was able to solve the problems of assuring people that they belonged and that how they feel about themselves is more important than what other people think about them.

When we ask ourselves or others what we want to be, we are limiting ourselves. When we ask ourselves what problems we want to solve, the possibilities are unlimited. 

So now, at this stage in your life I ask you the question:

What problem are you uniquely suited to solve now that you’ve grown up? 

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