Turning the other cheek is an old teaching and through the centuries it has come to be misunderstood. Recently, I taught a class where I shared about the true meaning of ‘turning the other cheek’. When I first brought up the topic, conversation among class participants stirred up and a few joked about how they felt as though they had allowed themselves to be metaphorically smacked across the cheek over and over throughout their lives. This response from my class reminded me of how important the true meaning of this teaching is!
Many believe that to turn the other cheek means that once someone has projected onto you that you should turn your cheek so you can allow them to do it again. This mistaken understanding leaves people feeling as though they are powerless, helpless victims who must squash their own feelings in the name of peace.
Thankfully, the underlying meaning of this teaching is not to settle for abuse however it may show up. As a metaphorical statement, to turn the other cheek is not meant to put you in the helpless position of a victim but is intended to place you in your rightful position as the ruler of your mind!
To rule your mind means that you are the decision maker of what you allow to affect you, and what you don’t allow to affect you. To ‘turn the other cheek’ means that if someone projects onto you in any manner, you demonstrate their behavior cannot affect you. This is an empowering position to take!
“…Show him that he cannot hurt you and hold nothing against him, or you hold it against yourself. This is the meaning of ‘turning the other cheek.’” ~ A Course in Miracles
To teach someone else that they cannot hurt you shows them their innate Spiritual innocence. Only the ego knows of negativity and fear, so we want to remind others they are not really the ego and neither are we.
If we decide to remain a victim then we are amplifying the ego in ourselves and others. And, if we are too busy being a victim and making someone else feel guilty, then we will never be able to see the call for love that is being expressed through pain. The biggest thing to remember is that hurt people hurt. Their pain does not need to dictate how our lives go.
As spiritual students, we want to become disciplined enough to see beyond the ego façade to the love which is at the core of each of us. This requires vigilance on our part, but it is worth developing this mental strength as reinforcing the ego in others only reinforces it in ourselves and vice-versa. To turn the other cheek and be firm on the truth that beyond the conflicted ego identity, we are all perfect Spirit helps dissolve negativity, guilt, and fear in our minds. It is part of the human experience that we can feel hurt by others at times and it is important to move through that pain safely with Spirit. Yet, once the mental anguish subsides, there is space to remind ourselves that we can move forward in peace knowing that others cannot affect us unless we choose to let them. There is a better way to handle things: through compassion, education, rehabilitation, non-judgment, and, of course, true forgiveness. All of the above shows that it’s possible to turn the other cheek and take a more peaceful route.
As spiritual students, we can all learn to take a more empowered stance when faced with negativity, and it all begins with turning the other cheek!
