There is a usually small, exclusive group of individuals perceived to be trendsetters, influential, and often fashionable; deemed to be characteristically at the top level of wealth, fame, power, and social status. They are the pacesetters, the forerunners, the trailblazers, the “Haut monde” or In-crowd.
There are benefits of being a member of the in-crowd or any group for that matter. They include a sense of wellbeing and inclusiveness, surrounded by others who share goals, values, and outlook. We have a biological drive to belong, and failure to satisfy this need is often marked by serious distress.
There is another group – less elite, not as popular but more prevailing; commonplace instead of exclusive; and injurious to those with membership. This in-crowd includes characteristics of feeling inadequate, inept, inhibited, insecure, and intimidated. Despite your achievements (and there are many), if you are a member of this in-crowd, chances are you have often felt inadequate and incompetent despite all the evidence to the contrary.
You know that feeling or thought, “I don’t belong,” or “What will others think when they find out I’ve fooled them into thinking I know what I’m doing?” The Imposter Syndrome is what psychologists describe as the deep and sometimes paralyzing belief that we have been given something we didn’t earn and don’t deserve, and that at some point we’ll be exposed.
The imposter phenomenon results in us spending too much time in our head worrying, stressing, and obsessing. Worrying that we aren’t prepared, stressing about what others think, and obsessing about what we should be doing; we relinquish our power and become a hostage to our negative thoughts. We rarely share our fears, so the thoughts become the secret we try to protect others from discovering. Only instead of being our secret, it becomes our shyster, unscrupulously robbing us of self-acceptance and self-confidence.
So how do we begin to tackle the intrusive thoughts that threaten our peace and our presence? According to Rhonda Byrne, creator of The Secret, “When you try to stop negative thoughts, you are focusing on what you don’t want – negative thoughts – and you will attract an abundance of them.” As for most things, awareness is the key. While we cannot fully control what goes through our minds, we can control how we react to what goes through. The key is making sure self-defeating thoughts travel through and don’t take up residency.
When new opportunities via challenges are presented, old fears and thoughts may reappear. But through awareness and action, we can respond differently. Just as we previously empowered them, we can now dismiss them and replace them with positivity. Ms. Byrne espouses the way to stop negative thoughts is to plant good thoughts. You do this by finding and expressing gratitude throughout your day.
If you can change your mind (thoughts), you can change your life. Your brain is absolutely the most powerful tool created. Use it for entry into the in-crowd that is the most elite and exclusive of all, the one that is the invincible, incomparable, inspiring, influential, and ineffable YOU!
