One of my dearest friends stopped talking to me.
I was placing judgment on them, they said. The judgment was so painful that they closed their heart to me and strongly requested that I leave them alone for a very long time. We haven’t talked since.
I was left to mourning the loss of my friend, with a gargantuan amount of motivation to reflect on judgment.
Parallel to this occurrence, I was reading a tremendously helpful book by the revolutionary author, Robert Scheinfeld. As infinite as we are, he states, we will always be tethered to misery by one key element. Although our birthright is freedom, limitlessness, and infinite expansion, it is judgment that keeps us locked inside the misery of the 3D world.
Ah ha.
I now understood why I lost my friend. My friend served me by bringing the subject of judgment to an obsessive forefront of my mind. Releasing judgment can release me from misery!? This topic now had all my attention. I took time to scan my intentions behind every word I said to them. I was ready to own up.
Was I actually judging my friend?
Days turned into weeks of picking myself apart. In the end, I threw my hands in the air and sighed. I stood and honestly could say…I was not. But that was now irrelevant. My friend believed I did, they were gone now, and did not want to communicate about it any longer. It was all laid out just for me to look at now, and I sure wasn’t going to miss it. I was deepening my learning about the cruelty of feeling judged.
I put myself in my friend’s shoes. Yes, it was misery. Although I knew I didn’t actually judge my friend, I did find something revealing I had to admit. From a karmic standpoint, I realized I certainly had what was coming to me. I had decades of judgments to take responsibility for. Oh how I have judged so much, and so many in my lifetime! All of a sudden my friend’s departure wasn’t so surprising.
And I got to work. The misery stops here.
What is the opposite of judgment? Acceptance? Tolerance? Neutrality?
They’re close, but none of those words work for me because they lack human feeling. I believe the luscious, vivacious, brilliant alternative to judgment is a life steeped in celebration. To me, this is where God is. Celebration feels like you and I are precious mini gods on an infinite playground. We climb on monkey bars, fall off swings, dig in sandboxes, and then toddle off to the seesaws. But no matter what we see, do, feel, or say, we simply learn. Instead of judging my fall off the money bars as bad, I can apply what I learn to the next time I play. No judgment. Learning from life, instead of judging it, is packed with loads and loads of celebratory potential.
No matter how satisfying it has felt to boost myself up on my self-righteous high horse in my past years, I have learned that what I love more is a real deal celebration. Don’t we all want to be cheered on for whatever we choose to learn in our human game, instead of being judged for it? I want my loved ones to feel at ease knowing that even if I get hurt, my highest self is always leading me to learn something perfect for my specific evolution. Others are welcome to witness me and walk alongside me. But not to judge me…only to celebrate me as I play the human game.
That’s what my friend wants too. Happily, I feel the truth in our friendship is stronger than the sandbox we’re currently learning in. I am humbled and most grateful for what I’ve learned from my friend and this experience. Because of it, I’m consciously freeing judgments one by one, unlocking greater learning inside me, and celebrating others with even more deliberation along the way.
