So many of us were raised on guilt that we automatically run guilt as our default energy pattern. And most of the time, we don’t even realize that we are doing it.
When we’re living from a place of guilt, we’re limiting ourselves from living up to our fullest potential and from living our most soul-inspired life. We’re limiting ourselves from loving ourselves to the fullest. Our own self-love is the key to unlocking our own internal wisdom. It’s the key to working with our intuition. Our intuition, our own divine wisdom is a natural byproduct of whole and total self-love. Guilt blocks us from living in that place of total self-love. Guilt requires us to judge ourselves, question ourselves, and live in a constant state of remorse.
At its deepest level, guilt really means the fear of the absence of joy. That might sound a little strange at first. But just think about it. Let’s use the example of feeling guilty about another person. You said no to somebody, you didn’t give them your time. You didn’t give them your energy. And you knew it was in your best interest, but you still feel badly.
Why do you feel bad? Why do you feel guilty? Because you feel that you’ve taken something away from them. You feel responsible for their outcome and you feel like they’re not going to be able to achieve whatever it is they want to achieve because you withheld something from them. That really is the breakdown of guilt. Guilt is the fear of the absence of joy. And when we take ownership and responsibility for other people’s outcomes, we are really then taking on the idea that we’re solely responsible for their joy. We have taken on the responsibility of their joy and we are afraid that our choices are inhibiting their ability to experience joy. That is guilt.
Most of us are too busy feeling guilty to realize we are running that guilt energy, those guilt thoughts through our system repeatedly. And we never stop to think, what is it that we’re really feeling guilty about? When we take ownership of other people’s joy, we are setting ourselves up for failure because we cannot control what anybody else does. Guilt is really an out of control feeling because we have given ourselves the illusion that we can control somebody else’s outcome, that we have power over it. Just as our emotions, joy, and self-love is our own responsibility. Just as our own thoughts, beliefs, and energy is our own responsibility. That’s true for other people.
So how do you go about living a guilt-free life as a person who loves people and humanity? Who wants to show up and give the best and be the best and bring out the best in people. You start living by changing the script, rewriting the energy pattern you are running.
Next time you catch yourself feeling guilty, which is usually the minute that you have said no to somebody, I want you to try this script flip. The minute we say no, we automatically call up that guilt energy, and we often start to feel bad, right away. Or you can think of one of those moments right now and try the script flip.
As soon as you start to feel like, “Oh my gosh, I just took something away from that person. Oh my gosh, I just disempowered that person. Oh my gosh, they’re not going to be able to achieve whatever it is they want to achieve…” and fill in all of the blanks, that is the moment to rewrite the energy.
- I want you to stop and take a deep breath, focus on your heart center.
- Place your hand on your heart center if you want to. Even in the middle of the conversation, nobody’s going to think anything of it. Especially if you’re a hand talker like me.
- And I just want you to extend the energy of your heart out to that person. And I want you to visualize that person achieving the outcome that they want to achieve. You can do this by visualizing your breath going out if that helps.
And now you just held space for them, knowing without a doubt that the same Source energy that empowered you empowers them and you aren’t in control of their outcome. And you don’t have to take ownership of their outcome. And the less you’re worrying about how they’re going to get their thing done, the more you have the opportunity to build your solid foundation of faith and trust and love in yourself.
This script flip is really how you move into living a guilt-free life. Letting go of guilt is not an overnight process. Most of us were raised with guilt and have been running guilt for our entire lives. For some of us, it has become like comfort food. So it’s going to take some undoing, and like most things, it happens in baby steps.
Our changes, our shifts are all baby steps.
When we let go of guilt, we are really able to do all of those things that we’re striving for, like show up as the fullest expression of love that we can. When we let go of guilt, we hold space for people to take ownership of their own experience. We hold space for people to be powerful creators and learn to love themselves. Because we all know love, happiness and joy is an inside job. And the more we role model that behavior for other people, the more they’re going to call that forth within themselves.
I’m sure all of us are going to have many opportunities throughout the day to say no to people, feel the guilt rise up, and flip the script. If you really are about empowering people and uplifting people, so often it’s really not to their benefit for us to say, yes. For so many reasons, mainly because sometimes people just need to have their own experience.
Let’s start living the guilt-free life, by giving people back the power of their experience and letting go of ownership, and truly seeing people achieving the goal that they’ve set out for themselves or achieving the experience that they’re asking for. Let’s empower people to feel fulfilled in their own energy and their own love.
