Dear Deziree,
An interesting thing happened to me about a month ago and I am not sure whether I should be concerned or not. You see, I was informed by my parents that one of my siblings has terminal cancer and is by their description “near the end”. I haven’t spoken with this individual in over 15 years due to personal differences in our lifestyles (mine spiritual, his not so much). When I did hear from him, it was out of the blue and quite unwelcome. I replied to his attorney (the matter was regarding the execution of his will) and requested through his attorney that I NOT be contacted by him again as I wanted nothing more to do with his drama or any of his personal affairs.
After passing on this message, I thought about the whole incident and realized that I meant what I said and I actually feel indifferent towards this person’s passing. He is my brother and I really feel nothing about his upcoming passing, is this normal or is there something in me that my spiritual side has shut off compassion wise?
~ ‘Just Curious’
Dear ‘Just Curious’,
My feeling is that this person (your Brother) has caused a lot of drama and crisis in your past. Victims of trauma usually can only deal with a certain level of emotional pain, and at some stage, there is a shut-off point from this source of trauma.
It sounds to me you had reached that level of emotional pain from your brother’s behavior that you shut off to avoid further trauma from these interactions. In my opinion, you did what was healthy for you by shutting your brother out of your life. The fact that he is terminally ill now was probably not something you were prepared to have to face right now. If you felt at peace in the past about the decision to cut ties with a toxic person, in this case, your brother, I feel you made a correct decision to support your own healthy boundaries. I believe your mind (ego) is just looking for a way to bring a level of guilt and shame into this situation. In your heart, if you truly are okay with your decision to keep the ties cut, then respect that decision.
You asked about compassion, having compassion for this situation, yourself and how you feel is the most important thing for you in order to keep you out of falling back into the cycle of trauma and crisis. Just because you choose not to get involved with a situation that could be potentially painful for you, it does not mean you are an uncompassionate soul. This is how you feel now, so honor it, however, when he passes, you may feel differently and have to deal with unexpected emotions over his passing. I hope you have supportive family and friends who will be there during that ending of the relationship of you and your brother. Blessings & Prayers!
Be Extraordinary,
Kimberly Deziree
The intention of Dear Deziree is to use the intuitive gifts of Kimberly Deziree to give you guidance regarding your spiritual business. As with EVERYTHING in life, we need to take 100% responsibility for ourselves. Her response is meant to give you guidance, but ultimately you are responsible for you. Enjoy!
