Dear Deziree,
I have been growing spiritually for the past 3 years now and have gone through many changes as we all do. One of the most confusing changes for me to deal with has been in the area of family.
For example, my youngest brother and I had been really close growing up and over the recent period of time we seem to have drifted apart. What has angered me most (and yes, I do mean angered) was the fact that during one of the darkest times of my life (nearly suicidal) he could not even pick up a phone and see how I was doing, especially knowing that my marriage was crumbling and divorce was inevitable. Most hurtful was that I was there for him and his family when he was in a rough spot with no questions asked.
My question to you is this – how do I deal with this anger, I know that we are not supposed to keep tabs but I still find myself being angry whenever I think of this? Any Suggestions?
~ “Anonymous”
Dear “Anonymous”,
Thank you for reaching out, and I am sorry that you have had this experience. Fortunately, my feeling is that you have spiritually grown and have come out of that dark time in your life. How I know this is that your awareness is fully present of the situation with your brother and that you acknowledge you are stuck here.
What I see here is “projection”, meaning we expect others to interact with us the way would have treated them ourselves. I commend you for being there for your brother and his family during their time of need, but remember, when we give of ourselves, it needs to be given freely with no strings or no expectations in return. I believe your anger comes from your expectation of your brother not fulfilling the invisible contract that you created in your mind. Your brother owes you nothing as there was no obligation on his part to be there for you.
There could be many reasons why he did not reach out to you during that difficult period. Did it ever occur to you that he could not be there for you because maybe he is not there for himself? My suggestion would be that if it still angers you, see if it is possible to talk to him about it and let him know how you feel.
I believe your anger is coming up because you have not spoken up for yourself in this situation and most likely in your past. This situation with your brother is really the resentment that you are still carrying around from not being heard or acknowledged somewhere in your past. Whether you talk to him or write a letter and burn it, this is really about you letting your feelings and emotions be heard. I wish you all the best in this situation!
Be Extraordinary,
Kimberly Deziree
The intention of Dear Deziree is to use the intuitive gifts of Kimberly Deziree to give you guidance regarding your spiritual business. As with EVERYTHING in life, we need to take 100% responsibility for ourselves. Her response is meant to give you guidance, but ultimately you are responsible for you. Enjoy!
