Dear Deziree,
I have had 2 bad experiences lately with men. It makes me hate myself for days and days. How can I remain self-loving in a world of men who hate?
Signed,
Why do men make us hate ourselves?
Dear Soul,
My heart goes out to you! I feel your pain and frustration from your words.
Unfortunately, you, like most of the population, think our self-loathing is because of the external world and circumstances. We blame others for our lack of self-love and self-worth.
When one does not Love and Value themselves consciously or unconsciously, they will send that energy out into the world and in turn, the universe responds and sends the next mirror to reflect that part of us to see.
As much as you are hurting and confused, this is actually your soul’s way of getting your attention for you to heal a belief system that you have about yourself that’s not true. It sounds like a repetitive pattern you have been experiencing with men. My intuition tells me you attract the same type of men, then expect him to be everything you dreamed of, most likely he does not meet those needs and actually, the relationship starts to break you down.
My thoughts are to stop trying to find a man who will fulfill your needs but rather meet your standards. If you start to look at the needs that you are expecting another to fill, most likely you are not meeting those needs for yourself. I would start there and I would also do some tracking to see how far back that you have been searching for those needs that weren’t fulfilled.
You will eventually find the source of this belief system that you have about yourself and see that it isn’t needed any longer. I would also recommend doing some work around this core belief with a professional counselor who is qualified to work on soul level healing.
Once you have had some time to do this work and heal from all of it, I would work on creating a list of standards that are healthy and loving when looking for a potential new partner. But remember you must have these standards for yourself first so you can attract this type of person.
I wish you the best and feel you are up to the challenge!
Keep me posted on your progress Dear Soul!
Be Extraordinary,
Kimberly Deziree