Dear Deziree,
My biggest problem is that life has a bad habit of blindsiding me and throwing roadblocks in my way. For example, I wrote a book (with a lot of delays), published the book and worked hard on marketing the book. Next, my daughter (37 years old) was in a serious car accident, and I had to spend 7 weeks at the hospital with her after which I brought her home to live with me. I pretty much had to give up a year of my life.
There is always something going on that I didn’t ask for and don’t deserve, and even my husband agrees with me on this. I work hard at making sure I don’t attract bad things but it’s like there are forces trying to keep me away from what I was meant to do. Recently, I started to push through in spite of the roadblocks but I’m getting tired of being picked on by cosmic forces.
Blindsided in Oklahoma
Deziree’s Answer:
This question was actually answered in a phone session with me, here are the results…
The first thing I pointed out to “Blindsided” was that she was seeing herself as a victim without a say in her own life. Next, I explained to her that as long as she believes bad/negative forces were influencing her life, that’s the result she would continue to get. What you focus on you manifest. She viewed life as “Happening” to her and not just happening, this caused her much suffering because this is what she truly believed.
After going over this with her, I wanted to begin the process of shifting her thinking. I agreed with her that a lot of unpleasant situations have transpired in her life, however, it’s how she viewed them that was part of her unhappiness. I brought up the book she wrote and asked her “How did you feel about that fact that you finished it?” She replied, “Great, I’m happy I finished it!” I then pointed out that she previously saw that as a negative, when in fact, it was a huge accomplishment! Definitely a positive, she agreed.
Next, I went over the situation with her daughter, as inconvenient as this year-long recovery was, I tried to get her to see it from a different perspective. Number one, her daughter was alive. Number two, she was able to care for her daughter and help her recover from something that was very traumatic. There is nothing more comforting than a mother’s love. That should be a positive.
As we got deeper into more parts of her life and the patterns that I was seeing with her, my intuition kicked in. I asked her about her mother and if she was a submissive wife. I then asked about her father, “Did he rule the house with an iron fist and make all the decisions?” She answered ‘yes’ to both. I knew then this was the beginning of finding her blocks.
She came from a family with a strong Baptist religious background. From her early years, she witnessed her mother doing everything that was expected of her even at the expense of her own personal happiness. This was the case for her as well in her becoming a young woman. Her dreams were squashed as she continued her parents’ story and made it her own. She married, had children and did what was expected of her as the wife.
The more we talked, I could hear the resentment boiling under the surface. Here was the breakthrough she needed. She had been carrying resentment since childhood. She believed she was obligated to be there for everyone else accept herself. She felt guilty if she didn’t fulfill her role as wife and caretaker for everyone else, after all, this is the role of a woman she believed. She never expressed her needs and desires and stayed unhappy and believed the universe was out to get her.
I explained that everything that showed up in her life was a mirror of what she needed to see within herself. The role she believed she owned as to what a woman should be was not hers but her parents. It was time for her to decide who she wanted to be as a woman, it was safe to put her needs first and feel no guilt or shame for being her true self. The self-talk needed to stop so she could change the story of her life. All she needed was to feel empowered and not defeated.
We went over her controlling ways in regards to life “Happening” to her and life just happening. Trying to control everything was her way of feeling in control because deep down she felt she had no say in her own life. Realizing this came from her childhood with her father dominating everyone, and everything she knew she could let go of that core belief now. I pointed out the areas where she accomplished a great deal on her own showing her that she could make her own decisions.
When I explained to her that if she could view life as just happening and be in the moment with it, she could surrender the control and allow life to unfold in magical ways. When she works with the universe without the core belief of “It’s not ok to be the real me or My role is to be the caretaker for everyone else”, she will find that these types of situations may still happen but she will see them as opportunities to grow and expand as she moves through them. No longer will she be stuck in them as a helpless victim.
At the end of our session, I recommended she read the book, “The Untethered Soul” by Michael A. Singer. I told her this book would help her understand her relationship with her thoughts and lead her to freedom. She promised she would read it and be open to hearing the message in it.
I’m happy to report that “Blindsided in Oklahoma” has updated me and is doing the things that feed her soul and is standing up for herself letting her needs and wishes be known! I felt a shift in her energy when she wrote back to me! She is feeling empowered and creative these days! Well done…
Be Extraordinary,
Kimberly Deziree
The intention of Dear Deziree is to use the intuitive gifts of Kimberly Deziree to give you guidance regarding your spiritual business. As with EVERYTHING in life, we need to take 100% responsibility for ourselves. Her response is meant to give you guidance, but ultimately you are responsible for you. Enjoy!
