I was just talking with my friend about having “champagne taste”. This has been a phrase people have said to both of us for many years. He commented that everyone enjoys the finer things in life, but most were afraid to admit. He used the idea that even if you just like to sit at home, you want to do it on a comfy couch. I laughed and agreed. But it got me thinking. How often are we ashamed of our desires? i.e. not in alignment with what we want.
We live in a world of opposites, whether it comes to the media that influences most of us, or did when we were growing up, our closest family members or our dearest friends. We live in a world of mixed messages. You can have anything you want! But if you want too much you are greedy. The world is your oyster, but make sure you take everyone in it into consideration before you do anything. We have essentially been told that we are selfish if we put ourselves first. This has ingrained in most of us the idea that we are bad for wanting anything for ourselves and if we do decide to do something for ourselves we a) harm someone else and b) have to balance it out by giving to someone else. Not to mention it puts the responsibility for others on us. This is total b#llsh!t in my book.
When we do what’s best for us and what we desire, we are doing what’s best for everyone. Because only then can we give the best of ourselves to everyone else. And each individual is responsible for their own happiness and well being. Imagine if everyone decided to make their own well being their priority. Noone would need to harm anyone in doing so or take from others. Well being is opening yourself to LOVE of Source. And there is more than enough of that to go around.
When we choose our own well being and focus on ourselves, we are creating our own high vibrational energy field. It’s easy to forget that it is our energy field that moves out into the world first. Not our actions or words. Think about it. You can do something in a pissy mood (low vibe) or you can do something in a good mood (high vibe). The action is the same, the outcome is different depending on the energy you put into it. There is a concept called the chain of pain that illustrates this perfectly. Hurt people hurt people. It’s essentially saying, the energy you have created in you is the energy you are giving out. Just replace hurt with shame, blame, guilt, anxiety, trust, willingness, acceptance, love, peace, etc. What energy are you putting into the world?
So that brings me back to our desires. How often do we desire something, finally convince ourselves it’s ok to have and then beat ourselves up about it? Yes we did something for ourselves, but from a low vibe place that only served to create more low vibe energy in you. That’s what you then went and gave to the world. Your shame, guilt , regret, lack, etc. I know you want to give the best of yourself to others, so get in alignment first. When we come from a place of neutrality, or even better peacefulness or love, we give that out to the world.
I love spa days. Heck I love any spa experience. But I won’t go if I’m feeling guilty, or any other low vibe emotion, about it. I have to get myself into alignment with my desire and ultimately my own well being. I have to believe all the wonderful, positive things about it that I know are true. If I go and I feel guilty for whatever reason, I will only be creating more guilt energy.
So how do you get in alignment with your desires, especially if you’ve spent a lifetime convincing yourself you should feel guilty for wanting them? As I always say, the answer is simple but not easy.
- First you pay attention to you! Yep, start putting yourself first, in your thoughts at least. Notice how you talk to yourself, what you tell yourself you want and when you tell yourself you don’t deserve it or can’t have it. You will notice a few desires that are consistent and the stories you have around them.
- Check the stories you are telling yourself. There’s not enough time, I shouldn’t spend the money, my kids come first, etc. And slowly start to rewrite them by tweaking them bit by bit. How can you tell yourself that story in a more positive way that you feel good about? Key phrase “feel good”. Don’t tell yourself something you will never believe. You won’t feel good. Tell yourself something believable that you feel good about, no matter how trivial.
- Honor yourself for the changes in thought you are making, not in the ones you aren’t.
Like I said, simple not easy. You have to choose to have another thought, one that feels good. And then another. And another. Change happens slowly over time. By doing this you weed out the desires that aren’t even really yours and create more space to get into alignment with the ones that are.
Getting into alignment, simply means, getting into a good feeling place about what you are doing, choosing, wanting, etc. Every time you are out of alignment you can have gratitude for the opportunity to get back into alignment. Choose the perspective that serves you the most, with disregard for whether anyone approves or it’s right or wrong, good or bad, true or not. Those are all judgements that block you.
And if find yourself doubting yourself or you are unsure, go ahead and use my current mantra: I am safe and I trust in my own well being.
