Dear Deziree,
Over the past year, I have known suffering and pain on an exponential level. I used drugs and alcohol to help deal with the sheer terror and pain I was feeling. Several years ago, I claimed my rite as ” a very powerful shaman.” Needless to say, I didn’t know I would have to go through hell. As of right now, I am stepping into my power as a healer/shaman which is a little anxiety producing but rewarding. My question is, was all that suffering and pain a test to see if I could handle being a shaman and will I have to suffer that intensely again?
Sincerely,
Owl feather
Dear ‘Owl Feather’,
From my understanding, it takes a great deal of sacrifice and commitment to become a powerful shaman. My first question to you would be the following, what were the qualifications of your mentor/teacher for becoming a shaman? Did you check their references? Did this person explain what the initiations would be like to become a shaman? Did your mentor reveal the level of pain and terror that would be involved and if so, how to protect yourself?
You stated that you are now ready to step into your power as a healer/shaman but that you are currently having anxiety. May I suggest that you either reach out to your teacher or find a new mentor to go over what has taken place up until this point. It concerns me that you had to rely on drugs and alcohol to deal with the pain and terror that accompanied your initiation into shamanism. Relying on substance abuse is a symptom that you were not properly supported in the initiation phase of your training. My hope is that you are currently sober and if not, I suggest getting sober is your first priority before moving forward with anything else in regards to this line of work.
My feeling is that you must be anxiety free and rock solid in your abilities and qualifications in being a powerful shaman. From what I know about shamanism, at times you will need the above in order to deal with the specific teachings and situations arising when dealing with the patients, spirits plants etc… You will need to be able to cope with the challenges that arise from these situations and to exude the confidence needed to put your patients at ease.
To answer your question, yes, I do feel that some of what you experienced was, in fact, part of your training to see if you could handle what you might come up against in this type of work. My hope would be not for you to suffer that intensely again. That is why I feel you must go back and talk with your teacher/mentor who trained you to discuss these issues and concerns. Also, if you do not feel comfortable with the answers you get, I would advise getting a second or even third opinion. You are not dealing with “warm and fuzzy” material here, this is serious business. So please go over everything and really do your homework!
Be Extraordinary,
Kimberly Deziree
The intention of Dear Deziree is to use the intuitive gifts of Kimberly Deziree to give you guidance regarding your spiritual business. As with EVERYTHING in life, we need to take 100% responsibility for ourselves. Her response is meant to give you guidance, but ultimately you are responsible for you. Enjoy!
