Dear Deziree,
How can I move past childhood abandonment issues quicker and with safety?
~ Pamela
Dear Pamela,
Thank you, Pamela, for writing in and congratulations on your openness to work on your inner child. I myself had suffered for many years from childhood abandonment issues, so I know how difficult it can be going through the process of healing on a soul level.
The first thing I can tell you based on my own experience is that there is no specific timeline for the healing process. Your desire to eliminate the issues in your life that were created from childhood abandonment has to be greater than the fear of continuing to live your life the way you currently are. For me, the fear of abandonment showed up in many more places than expected once I decided to take the journey of going inward and healing from the inside out. As this process began, and the layers began to peel away, I realized that this was not going to be an overnight process.
When the pain became too great, I trusted Spirit to guide me through this process of healing my inner wounds. There were times where I would be very hard on myself, not understanding that I was a victim of what took place in my childhood and that it was not my fault. When I was able to see myself in the role of ‘witness’, I could detach from the story and have compassion for that part of myself that was in need of love and understanding.
Once I was able to do this, the next step was realizing Spirit was only going to give me what I was able to handle until I was ready for the next piece. Realizing that my childhood abandonment issues were with me all my life until my awakening, I knew it was going to take some time and that I would have to keep moving backwards to get to the root of where the seeds were planted. I don’t recommend doing this work alone as it can be quite painful.
I found a spiritual counselor who also had a Masters in Psychology to help me through the rough spots when I was unable to take myself to the point of integration. Reading books on understanding childhood abandonment issues helped me a lot in the beginning to understand myself. One of the books I read is titled “The Completion Process” by Teal Swan, it helps with the practice of putting yourself back together again.
During the time that I was working on myself and all my abandonment issues, I started to understand something that was very important. When I started thinking in terms of energy, I realized that as long as I carried the energy of abandonment (internally), I would attract the perfect match to reinforce my beliefs surrounding abandonment. Understanding this, I started to look at the people who were in my life and what triggers they were setting off.
When I started seeing this, the next question was, “Why?” For me, the answer was, they were just the mirror to shine a light on darkness in my soul that needed healing. When I got those lessons, I was able to let those people go and create space for healthy relationships to enter that had no abandonment ties. That’s when I knew that I had grown.
Stay strong and be gentle with yourself during this process.
Rooting for you soul sister!
Be Extraordinary,
Kimberly Deziree
The intention of Dear Deziree is to use the intuitive gifts of Kimberly Deziree to give you guidance regarding your spiritual business. As with EVERYTHING in life, we need to take 100% responsibility for ourselves. Her response is meant to give you guidance, but ultimately you are responsible for you. Enjoy!
