Carly Mentlik, (MA, LPCC) is a licensed holistic psychotherapist, children’s development expert, and intuitive guide for spiritual parents and entrepreneurs. She is also the founder of the Inner Rainbow Project, a hub for children’s mental health and wellbeing that uses an innovative fusion of education and psychology along with chakras and yoga to introduce spirituality to kids. Carly has Bachelors in special education, Masters in counseling and has completed PhD work in feminist developmental psychology at New York University; and over the past (nearly) two decades, she has been blessed to work with children of all ages and across all kinds of learning needs, personalities, and cultures. As the creator of the curriculum Camp Chakra Kids (debuting its newest version this Fall for families and entrepreneurs,) Carly has already provided a spiritual toolkit to over 1000 kids and envisions a world where every child grows up feeling connected to their inner spirit. She is certified in yoga and Reiki and her newest project, the kids-centric podcast, Chakra Talk, is out now. Find Carly on innerrainbowproject.com
Welcome everybody, welcome to Spiritual Biz Chat for Spiritual Biz Magazine, I am your host, Kimberly Maska, and today we have joining us Carly Mentlik, a spiritual entrepreneur with very innovative approach to children’s development. Carly, welcome, and thank you both for being with us, how are you doing today?
CARLY MENTLIK: I’m grateful to be here, thank you for having me. It’s always a pleasure when I get to talk about spirituality and wellness!
Excellent! Carly, have you always sort of known that you will be working with children and dedicating your career to directly improving their mental health and their wellbeing? How and when did you get on this path to your current life’s purpose and work?
CARLY: My true self has always known. The one who always liked playing teacher was a babysitter as soon as I was old enough, gave advice to friends. What you’ve always loved will give you the clues to what your essence is drawn to. Though, when I was just starting college, I would have told you I was going to be a marketing executive (like Angela Bower on Who’s the Boss?’). Yet, I’ve never been able to stay too long in something that’s not connected to my truth. My intuition always sparks me to wake up at some point. This time, it was after a 28-day Outward Bound trip. Once I got the call to do something to help other people on a deeper level, I was focused on helping children, and that devotion hasn’t wavered for over twenty years now.
I started studying for my teaching degree in special education, and this led me into human development research. I learned how we can trace our silence and going underground with our truth to very young ages, and that the effects last throughout adulthood— all things I personally experienced. My passion was ignited to help change this for future generations. If we could bring children access to the mental health tools they need now, they wouldn’t have to seek these things out as adults after going through a period of suffering.
When I started traveling around the world, exploring yoga and other wisdom traditions, that’s when my life started opening up, when I felt like I was following my true calling. When I learned about the chakra system, I fell in love with it. It made so much sense to me, it helped me heal on new levels and access understanding about myself that all fit into one whole. So, I started teaching chakra yoga classes and lessons within my therapy practice and homeschool groups. Then, I started developing the Chakra Kids characters as a way to make it more relatable. If I could create characters that could be loved the way I loved Rainbow Brite or the Care Bears, and they helped kids develop their toolkits, imagine the impact!
It took me a long time to step into the truth of sharing spirituality with kids. It’s just now something I’m getting comfortable with sharing openly. Spirituality is a concept that’s easily misunderstood and judged. Even though everything I taught was related to spirituality, I wouldn’t use that term. Now, I’m moving out of that, because the mission is too important. Children need to be connected to their spirit, to know what it is, to be able to freely discuss it, and to have it valued as highly as academics have been. We need as many options, pathways, and diversity of spiritual tools as possible to make the greatest impact.
As expected, you not only interact with children but also their parents as your clients. What is the number one tip you give to spiritual parents on how they can share spirituality with their kids?
CARLY: The number one tip I always share with parents is to focus on your own spirituality. Sometimes, this isn’t the most favorite tip to hear. We’re conditioned to look outside of ourselves for a step-by-step solution. Yet, that’s not the way to teach spirituality to kids.
We can’t teach spirituality using the old model of education: ‘Here’s the definition, follow these steps and you’ll be right.’ If you want to break generational patterns, you must live spirituality, not teach it. You must devote yourself to connecting with and remembering who you truly are and creating a safe, expansive, free space for your child’s self-discovery.
When you’re being fully present and allowing your kids to be who they are, that’s how you’re sharing spirituality with them. You’re giving them the open space for them to explore. To be and become who they truly are without judgment.
Being present also gives you a chance to notice times it will be beneficial to share a bit more directly. In the moment is when you can make an impact by pointing out, ‘This is a time I’m using breathing to help me calm down,’; or, ’I know it must have been hard for you to tell your friend you didn’t like how she treated you, but that was really brave.’ For these kinds of lessons to be effective, they need to be taught in the moment.
Even more important, pay attention to how you respond during times that are challenging. If you teach one thing to your kids and they observe you doing another, they’ll remember what they see, how you react, what tools you’re using (or not using), how it’s affecting you, and the way you’re treating them because of it. Your best way to share spirituality with your kids is to let me see you being the embodiment of what you want for them.
Understandably, the majority of our readers are spiritual entrepreneurs, and many of them already have or are planning on having kids and are looking for ways to incorporate their kids into their own spiritual journey. Are there simple and effective exercises that spiritual parents can try with their children to help them connect to their intuition and find their inner spirit?
CARLY: Recently, I was talking with a good friend who is also a spiritual entrepreneur. She expressed some guilt around not being able to show up for a performance her daughter was doing because she had to work. I reminded her of the example she’s setting by following her dreams and being honest with her daughter about the situation. She thanked me and shared the realization, ‘I’ve been studying intuition and releasing limiting beliefs in my personal life and business for so long. I need to apply it to parenting!’
Yes! And, you have all the skills to do so. Yet, there does need to be an intentional step towards that, towards developing new understandings and how it all applies to your parenting.
I’m sharing this story because it’s that simple of a step and also very normal that you may not have already applied your inner work to your parenting. So, give yourself the trust that you have a lot of wisdom and the permission to follow your intuition in applying your inner knowing to your parenting. That way, you’ll be sharing naturally through your embodied example.
As far as intentionally introducing exercises, I would start with some of your favorite tools for connecting with your intuition and sharing a simple version with your kids. In yoga, they’re called kramas, or stages. There’s always a simpler stage, a way to break it down so you’re still sharing the essence, but in a way that’s the right fit for the person practicing.
For example, if meditation is a way you connect with your intuition, you can start sharing a short breathing practice with your kids, with their favorite calming music and cozy pillows. If you connect through dance and movement, start a dance party ritual every morning.
Are there certain signs of when your child is ready to be introduced to different spiritual practices such as yoga, meditation, Oracle cards, etc? Is there such a thing as a kid-friendly introduction to it all?
CARLY: I believe that a child is ready to be introduced to spiritual tools the moment they’re born. Children are spiritual beings and they’re the best yogis around because they’re united with their essence. They move with intuition and follow their instincts. The goal is to help children stay connected to their spirit, so they don’t need to go through a period of remembering like we all needed to go through.
And, yes, absolutely there is such a thing as a kid-friendly introduction to spirituality! My mission is to share those kid-friendly introductions and tools. That’s why I started the Chakra Talk Podcast, to share about mystical topics in an accessible way. It’s why I created the Chakra Kids Oracle Cards, to give kids access to tools made just for them. It’s why I started a new program for spiritual entrepreneurs who work with kids, to help get their messages out too. We are part of creating the New Earth. Our job is to create open safe spaces for kids to explore and learn about spirituality in ways designed just for them. So, seek out those kid-friendly explanations and tools. They’re out there and they’re growing!
Yet, it’s not only about kid-friendly tools. You can also introduce your kids to different practices by immersing them in a spiritual environment. Let your children observe you practicing spirituality and be open to their participation in ways they’re drawn to. Let them be in the energy of spirit, the energy of how present and calm you are when you are in the energy of your true self.
Here are some examples of what kid-friendly introductions could look like: You can take your child to a parent-child yoga class when they’re infants. Meditation can be introduced as simply as taking calming deep breaths to feel relaxed before bed and using your favorite essential oils or crystals. Let your kids observe you doing an oracle card reading for yourself. Notice, what do they like about your cards? The colors, the images, moving the cards around asking what each means? Let them explore and share simply why you like the tool. ‘It helps me feel calm, it reminds me that I’m powerful…’
When you share, it’s important to do so without attachment to the results. Don’t focus on the ’Are they listening?’ or ‘Do they like this?’
Follow the first tip of being present and attuning to their energy and you’ll know what your kids like because they’ll be filled with spirit, curiosity, joy, and wonder. Those are the signs of readiness.
As we all know way too well, spiritual transitions are not always a breeze and can be too rough for even adults at times. How can parents protect their children and keep them centered and aligned during inevitable emotional storms?
CARLY: It can be so difficult to witness our children struggling through challenges! We instinctually want to jump in and help take their pain away. Here are my top tips for how parents how to protect their children while empowering them at the same time.
1. Trust that your children have the power inside of them to weather the storms they’ll experience. Have faith and help your children develop the trust in themselves that they have the power inside to overcome their challenges.
2. Help your kids develop their unique emotional management toolkit.
You can’t take your child’s journey for them, but you can help them develop the toolkit they need to navigate their challenges. Giving them access to tools to calm their minds, build their confidence, and stay connected to their intuition will help keep them centered and aligned when obstacles come up. Part of their toolkit also includes the permission and the communication skills needed to ask for help. Inner power and independence don’t mean you have to do things on your own.
Be open to the likelihood that their way to manage their emotions, the tools in their kit may look different than yours.
3. Normalize challenging emotions. When I started studying yoga, it was the first time I was introduced to the concept that it was normal, expected, and not a sign of your inner worth that there will be emotional storms in life. When you let your children feel their deep feelings and hold space for the unknown, without trying to change them or take them away, you help them learn that difficult emotions are okay, they don’t last, and they don’t define who you are.
Is there a final message you want to let our readers know? Or just any last little words that you have for them?
CARLY: Trust yourself. Trust your inner knowing and trust that your children have the power inside of them to live the life of their dreams. Give yourself permission to be present and let their light and your intuition be what guides your path.
Thank you, Carly, very much! It has been such a pleasure chatting with you today!
Thank you. It’s an honor to have the opportunity to share my voice. I wish you all joy, truth, and magic!