When a relationship needs to change, start with yourself.
An intuitive session, whether it’s cards, crystals, guides, etc. is always based on the energy you are creating in the moment. This is why seasoned readers will tell you to give it some time to let things unfold. But we are humans and we can be impatient, that’s for sure. Still, we live in a 3d world and the energy takes time to settle into our density.
We’ve all been there. We have a session, it isn’t really what we want to hear and we want things to be different, hurry up and change. Well, it’s right to think that things need to change, but we are the ones who need to shift the energy. Even when it involves another person, it is our energy that needs to change.
Our energy is made up of what we think, believe, and choose to see about a situation. And we mostly create with our energy by what we choose to focus on. Changing our energy around a person or situation does not mean it will change the other person or situation, but it will change our experience of the other person or situation. Think of ‘the glass is half full or half empty’ analogy. If the glass is half full you still have possibilities left. If it is half empty you are feeling like you’ve lost something.
A classic example is a relationship. Be it a friendship or romantic one, our lives are built on relationships. So often we aren’t happy with what is going on and we have a session that confirms what we are thinking and feeling. And our first thought is, well if they would just change x, y and z everything would be fine.
Now that may be true, but you could be waiting a long, long time for them to change and you are only suffering in the interim. It takes spiritual maturity to accept that the only control you have is over you. Yes, that can sound daunting, and I know I always throw a baby fit first and say “Why do I have to do it?!” But, once I get my baby fit out I realize, it’s because I’m the one that wants things different. I’m the one who’s suffering over it and wants to feel better. If I want to feel better, I have to take the action to change the situation on my end.
So you’ve had your session, the reader has confirmed that yes, the situation is not what you want it to be. You may even feel helpless about it, depending on the situation. But you always have a choice. You can choose to do something or not. When you choose to do something you have many options.
Let’s use our relationship example. You can choose to leave the relationship altogether. Yes, waiting around to see if they change is an option. I know I’ve given many readings where I see the other party coming to their senses 5 years down the road. But just because something has the potential to be, doesn’t always mean it’s the best path for you or that it will come into being. Energy is always changing. Sometimes you need to make the choice to leave. And honestly, most people think this is the hardest choice, but I actually see it as the easiest. It’s clear. It’s to the point. And it is a definite change in energy. It may be a hard action to take, but it almost always provides the most clarity and opens the flow of energy up again. Often when we make the decision to leave, the energy shifts and opens that relationship back up to its fullest potential. Other times it opens us and them up to be free of something that was no longer serving either of us. The latter has been the case for me many times. Romantically and platonically.
Another change we can make is how we choose to see the situation. Most people don’t like this because we’ve been trained to justify our need to be right and get closure about things. But often those things are so elusive, they just keep us chasing our tails. We often get what we expect from people and we often base our expectations on our beliefs. The problem is, most of us don’t really know what we subconsciously believe. That’s a whole different article. One thing we can choose to do is see the situation differently and look for evidence to support that. One core subconscious belief might be, love equals pain. So we keep ending up in relationships with that energy. Start to see the relationship differently and you can rewrite the subconscious belief, creating new energy for the next relationship.
Let’s use the example of a relationship ending because the other person cheated. We can view that from a very negative viewpoint that takes us down a nasty spiral where we will never get answers or the closure we desire. We can only focus on the negative aspects of this person and their actions. Or we can choose to see the love that did exist there, be grateful for what we learned from the experience, and thank that person for removing themselves from our life because they weren’t right for us long term.
People always say to me, “But they did….”. And I reply, “Yes they did, but how is it helping you to focus on that? They also did all these other things that were good that you choose to ignore.” As humans, we’ve been trained to ignore the 500 good things and focus on the one bad thing. That doesn’t serve us. So change how you see the situation, instead of viewing what was taken from you, see what was given to you.
And last but not least, the most simple way to change is simply choosing to focus on something else. The choice is simple, the action is not, it definitely takes some effort. You can retrain your brain in each moment. Every time you think about your lying and cheating ex, shift your thought to a happy time, either with them or without them. This creates new energy patterns in your brain that allow you to start thinking about the good in life instead of the bed. People think this is just sticking your head in the sand and ignoring reality. But the truth is, if that reality doesn’t serve you, why focus on it, when you can shift your attention and create one that does?
Yes, it sucks when romantic and platonic relationships aren’t working out as we wished or as we have even seen them with our intuition. It’s especially hard when we can see the full potential of others or a relationship, but it just doesn’t seem to be manifesting that way. We have the power to shift any situation, but it has to start with us and the changes we choose to make. We create our reality. That doesn’t mean we get to hand pluck every person that’s in it, it means we get to choose how we navigate and respond to what is showing up.
