My folk music band is operating in our first official year together as a guitar/piano duo. It is amazing to be able to say that we already have gigs every month from now until the fall of 2021!
Ok. So with it being understood that this SUCH great news that I am indeed most grateful for, why has my heart felt so heavy?
Because it feels like I am a million miles away from my true calling.
We booked our gigs at farmers markets, festivals, and patio restaurants where my band was chosen because of our ability to play 4 hours of songs. Covering favorites from artists such as Bob Dylan, the Grateful Dead, Brandi Carlile, and Corinne Bailey Rae, we can create a lovely, happy atmosphere for those events.
Don’t get me wrong, I really love that role. There’s nothing like belting out Van Morrison’s lyric “I want to rock your gypsy soul…” while a mama in a long flower dress dances with her baby in the warmth of a summer farmers’ market.
However, being background music is not where my true heart lies. I spent the last 10 years cultivating my ability to hold sacred ceremonial space in intimate settings. I have learned to finesse an atmosphere with vulnerable storytelling so that each moment of my performance flows deep to your core. I even worked countless hours creating an 8-week online course to mentor other lightworker musicians like me to also craft their performance into a precise healing art form.
I share this because I am so clear where my calling feels most fulfilled. When I reviewed our gigs that I had personally set up, instead of reveling in the joy available there, I cried deep tears.
The next morning, I felt calmer, but still, my heart felt heavy. This time, however, I knew what I needed: A mindset makeover. These three reminders answer the question,
“What can I do when I’m miles away from living my calling?”
I get reminded of this:
I am the Calling. My calling is present in my DNA, my very breath, and in my every footstep. In times when it doesn’t feel like I am living it, I am experiencing a season of drought. I am still living my calling in my dormant state. It doesn’t feel good at all. But now I show up during my times of drought greatly affects the fruits of the calling on the other side. It’s easy to feel fulfilled when the rain flows and everything is in bloom. My soul’s evolution is asking me to feel it always.
I am the Ceremony. Whether I am playing at a smoky bar, a colorful festival, or a sacred living room, I embody the power of how I connect with the people. Every exchange, no matter the setting, holds the potential of becoming a deep, ceremonial heart to heart connection. Yes, some places are easier to do that than others. Looking at what I have created so far in 2021, however, all I can say for myself is it appears I want to master the ability to create a ceremonial healing space anywhere.
I am the Magic. I am miserable when I feel like I am going backward. Restaurant gigs and street festivals are what I did a decade ago when I first started playing out. But thanks to my mindset makeover, I am reminded that if I want magical experiences, I’m the one to bring the magic to the party. It doesn’t work for me to wait for the right stage, the right audience, and the perfect lighting. I am the queen of my life, which means I have chosen a life of humbling service, trailing my particular flavor of magic wherever I walk. If singing my heart out to a farmers market is how I am of the absolute greatest service that day, even if I never understand why it feels wise for me as the Queen of My Magic to show up at that moment fully.
Which I fully intend to do.
So with my mindset makeover in place, you are invited to take a second look with me at all those booked events! I am the Calling, the Ceremony, and the Magic, wherever I am. Each of those performances will have a king and queen present, and fully at your service.
With love,
Emily Potter
