Just about six years ago, I had my entire world come crashing down around me in an instant. Everything I knew and loved was falling away from me in a way I could not then understand. My heart was breaking, and I was scared to death at the uncertainty that I was facing in terms of what would happen to me and my children.
Within a year, I had lost almost everything I owned, no matter what I tried to do to save and contain my little world, it didn’t work. I had always had the Midas touch when it came to business and achieving my goals, but not this time. Little did I know that my life would never be the same, and that I would be going on a very painful journey to find myself and my purpose in life. My “Dark Night of the Soul” was about to begin, you may also know this as “Saturn’s Return”, Ouch!
During the early stages of my “Dark Night” years, I discovered the metaphysical community and knew that I had to follow this path to find out more about spirituality and my soul. As my life was continuing to spiral out of control, I began to study and practice meditation, energy healing, physic development, mediumship and so much more. This all felt so right for me, it was as if a light bulb went off over my head and I felt like life made more sense to me. Understanding that it was my “Ego” that had created all the problems in my life, which led to my big “Tower Moment”, gave me some comfort; and learning about my “Higher Self’ and how to access that part of me gave me hope. At this point I figured it would be smooth sailing from here on out.
Boy was I wrong! Having a Spiritual Awakening is not that easy, it’s actually very messy, painful, and quite ugly. Having to open up and look inside your shadow-self is scary, and I can see why most people avoid going there once they rip the band aid off and expose the unhealed wounds. It’s not pretty, in fact, I wanted to put the band aid back on and look the other way. The problem was that I knew if I did that, my life would never change and that I would be trapped being “Her”, you know, the messed-up person with a trail of nonsense following her wherever she went. That was unacceptable to me because deep down I knew the past and its trauma would always affect me unless I faced it and healed it.
Once the awakening began and I accepted the terms of the universe, the journey began. As I studied the Metaphysical world, I also found spiritual healers who could help me start to heal. When I talk about healing, I am really talking about “Unbecoming” the 3D version of me. Once I understood how the past and all of its lies were running my life, I began to take on the different aspects of me that were still wounded and stuck somewhere in time. As I faced these aspects of me, I got to experience the integration of all the shattered fragments that were once me and finally able to bring them home.
I could not believe how much my life was changing in ways that I never expected. Although I was experiencing a lot of pain as I was letting go of “me”, I felt a calling to help others awaken and heal from their past. For the majority of my life I had been in the Beauty Industry and felt that was my calling. I loved all things that had to do with hair and makeup until my awakening. What I came to realize was that the Beauty Industry was my life’s purpose and now through my healing I realized that helping other people transform their lives through healing was my soul’s purpose.
Knowing this I decided that I would find ways to start helping other people in their awakening process so that I could change the course of my destiny. Around year two of my awakening, I stumbled across Kimberly Maska and her Spiritual Biz Success Group and decided to join the group because I was looking for answers as to how I could use my spiritual gifts and my healing story to help other people in a spiritual business. The group was just getting off the ground and I was contributing a lot of content to the group. Out of the blue, Kimberly messaged me and thanked me for my contributions to the group and asked me if I would be interested in doing some “Beta Testing” for some of the new programs that she would be launching. Of course, I said yes! At the time I had no idea what “Beta Testing” was or how to use my computer other than the “Hair Max” software that I had been using to run my Hair Salons and Spas.
It was so exciting to be actually talking with Kimberly on a regular basis and have her teach me all about the technical aspects of what goes on behind the scenes with automated technology. I will admit it was very overwhelming to me to work on all of this computer stuff as I never needed to use technology to cut hair. It was difficult, to say the least, to learn about how all of the different programs that were needed to create automated courses were connected and how to operate them. It felt like I was learning a brand-new language. Many times I wanted to give up and quit but Kimberly was there to encourage and support me during this time.
Somehow, I kept pulling through because I didn’t want to disappoint her or to let myself down either. After a few months of going through the motions of working on Kimberly’s “Beta” project, I decided to hire her as my coach to help me structure my spiritual business as I felt that I was now ready. I was really excited when I signed up for my four-month mentorship with Kimberly. She helped me figure out what I was good at and how I could best serve my “tribe”. We were able to create the content for my new website together and then create a Facebook group that was congruent with my mission.
Part of the other connection I had with the Spiritual Biz Community that Kimberly had created was my time as the “Spiritual Dear Abby” known as “Dear Deziree”. I had mentioned to Kimberly in the very beginning of our working together that I wanted to do an “Intuitive Advice Column” someday. June 10th 2016, episode #1 of Dear Deziree was officially launched on Spiritual Biz Magazine. I ended up doing a total of 56 episodes, I had people from all over the globe writing in looking for intuitive advice for personal and business problems. I had a great run doing the “Dear Deziree” columns which somehow led to me interviewing Spiritual Healers as well as Spiritual Entrepreneurs.
I remember being so excited about the magazine and suggested to Kimberly that she interviews some of my favorite spiritual healers such as Michael Mirdad and Colette Baron Reid. Kimberly took my advice and not only did she interview them, but each of their interviews ended up being the cover story of the month for Spiritual Biz Magazine.
I also wrote an article on each of these amazing human beings. My articles were about how I came across them during the early stages of my awakening and how their books and teachings shifted my soul. I had the privilege of meeting Michael and Colette at different times and was able to capture a picture with each of them to incorporate into my articles. The best part about writing these articles for Spiritual Biz Magazine was that I got to submit my rough drafts to these people whom I admired and get their feedback before the final draft was published in the magazine.
It’s been four years since I encountered Kimberly Maska and had the privilege to work with her privately and to be a part of the Spiritual Biz Magazine family. So much has happened over these past four years for me privately and publicly, I have grown as a person and have evolved tremendously on a soul level during some very painful times.
My spiritual path has taken me in many different directions, sometimes leaving me confused and uncertain about my future. The hardest part about my awakening was healing the generational family karma that I decided before birth to take on in this life. A very accurate psychic once told me, “You poor thing, you are the cycle breaker for your family, the entire karma of the family is on you!” I didn’t understand what she meant at the time but after six years in the “Dark Night of The Soul” I get it.
It’s been six years since my official awakening began, I suffered a tremendous amount of pain during the “Unbecoming of me” and have also learned and grown in so many positive ways. I honestly believe that I am now walking out of this painful cycle that I have been in for quite some time and finally walking into my new life.
I am grateful for the experience and for the people who have been put in my path to help me along so that I could find myself. In saying that, I realize that it is time to say good-bye to some people and to some things so that I can create room in my life for new experiences to enter. I have decided that this would be a good time to say good-bye to everyone here on Spiritual Biz Magazine as a new decade is upon us and both my life and my mission are heading in a new direction.
I would like to thank Kimberly Maska for believing in me and my gifts, for giving me the opportunity to create “Dear Deziree” as well as the opportunity to interview, write, and publish articles in Spiritual Biz Magazine. I would also like to thank Tasha Morozova for her assistance in leading the Spiritual Biz Magazine contributors enabling us to get our articles published correctly and on time. And thank you to all of the readers of Spiritual Biz Magazine, especially those of you who provided input on my articles allowing me to improve my skills and gifts as time went on. I will miss you all!
