Going into this new year of 2020, I honestly thought I would start the new year off running full force ahead towards my goals.
I have been eager to implement strategies for business and plan things out for my upcoming move this summer. I was mistaken for sure. Instead, I have been healing wounds from the past. I’ve been in a holding pattern, forced to examine myself by doing a heart scan to see if there are any unresolved issues.
The ego is quick to suggest that everything is okay when in fact, the soul is crying out for more attention. I discovered that my soul cry was crying out for me to dig deep and my quest for freedom nudged me to go deeper into my past. I’ve been HEALING traumatic wounds from my past that were inflicted upon my Native American ancestors.
This has been a learning experience, I had no idea I was healing old wounds until I was having a healing session with another friend who is a healing practitioner. I’ve been consumed with the study about Native American history. I have listened to many of the Hopi prophecies and documentaries about the Indian Removal Act that was signed back in 1830 by President Andrew Jackson.
I have read countless articles and videos about how my Native American people were forced by the United States government to leave their ancestral homelands in the east to go to lands west of the Mississippi River. I have experienced the power of shape-shifting by putting myself in their shoes, many of which had none and I have imagined the pain and shame they endured on their 2,000 plus mile hike to the west which became known as the Trail of Tears.
I have imagined myself as a mother holding my infant with no shoes or blanket in the cold. I have also imagined myself seeing the deaths of the approximately 4,000 natives who perished by death during their involuntary exodus from their sacred homeland.
My heart has grieved tremendously and I’ve learned the importance of paying attention to the CYCLES and seasons in my life as well. The universe has given me a lesson in waiting and being STILL even when it feels like the world and everyone else in it are passing me by. I understand now the importance of slowing down during winter and how to work with the healing and reflective energy that it produces.
I have also dealt with the fear of being left behind. The fear stemmed from a traumatic incident I experienced as a child. I was visiting a relative out of town and was at a mall with my older cousins when all of a sudden I turned around and they were gone. I had no idea where I was and no recollection of how to find my way back home. That past trauma and fear poured over into my adult life and it caused me to make hasty decisions in the past that were not in divine timing.
I have also had to heal my mind of past trauma. Healing the mind of past trauma is not an easy process, but it’s the only way to advance spiritually. I am grateful for the winter. I have put in the work and I have sown seeds that will eventually bloom in the spring. Looking back over my life, I have always been a late bloomer and that’s okay because the universe has my back and will self-correct things if need be. I am grateful for the past, present, and future.
What unhealed wounds are you leaving exposed during this season that may hinder your spiritual growth and development?
